The world is slipping under my feet

Today while I was at work I received the phone call that L had to be taken back to the ER. Levels came back at 187, not as terrible as it had been but still bad enough considering what abnormal levels can do to you.

As I am writing this update, I feel like the world, no not the world but L is slipping away from me underneath my hands. It seems no matter what we do at home and the best care everyone gives to him, it doesn’t matter. I want to hang on to hope and find the strength that he will survive and that he will be there, graduate from Elementary School, Middle School and Highschool. But also that he is enjoying life, finding the right partner for him..all the things we wish that our children should accomplish to achieve their happiness. I am barely hanging on to that hope.

My relationship with my partner is strained as we can’t find the time to breathe, let alone find time together. It is us doing it, all the time not only taking care of L but our other children, who being left behind in the process as we are attempting to save L’s life. They are hurting as well, not only because (I feel) they are being neglected half the time but also because they are worried, they are scared to death just like us the adults.

Friends tell me prayer chains are all over the world (literally) and I can’t ask any more of that. So thanks to all that think about L and in his time of need. Thanks to all that think about us in our times of struggle and heartbreak. Just thank you.

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