Privileged

After an actual day off, I found myself in the company of Lennon. I was sitting in my office/studio knitting away when he said to me: did you find the clay mom? I really want to make my minecraft clay character.

I in fact did have clay but thought I show just start his own collection of clay to use any time he would like to and time allows. So in what was a quick decision, him and I sprinted to Michaels. During the drive, I was privileged to see into his world through his eyes. I mean I do hear often how he and his brain work, but I am not always able to take it for one reason or another.
Anyway, he definitely know what is going on with him and he asks questions, tells me his thoughts all so that he can feel like he is okay and we’ll make it normal … And his normal isn’t necessarily my normal or yours for that matter.

At some point Lennon is facing another (big) surgery, possibly during Christmas break. He is fully aware that there are some physical actives that he simply can’t do due to his muscle not being completely closed, leaving him with a hernia. So during this drive, he told me he can’t do push-ups like the other kids can because of his belly. He then shared with me that once he had the surgery, he knows that he can do all the things other kids can do. Every now and again, his conversations with me tug at my heart strings, while at the same time I wish we adults could just talk to ourselves and others in this kind a way to make sense of it all.

And once he was done sharing his struggles and making them okay at the same time, he moved on about the next video game or four he would like to buy if only he or me would make enough money and didn’t have bills to pay. I sure wish life would sometimes be as easy as he makes it out to be. We adults certainly make things often more complicated than they need to be.

I feel privileged to be able to see into his world and learn from them and then somehow incorporate his little lessons into my world, personally and professionally. There is no doubt that there is an absolute reason why I am his mother and I hope I can continue to receive what he is sharing with me in a way that then I may share with you.

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